Hot Mess Mom

I have proclaimed myself a “Hot Mess Mom”.

Dear Diary,

I have proclaimed myself a “Hot Mess Mom”. You see, I am always scatter-brained and flying by the seat of my yoga pants as I am conquering this crazy job called motherhood. I am one of those moms who have Pinterest boards full of creative recipes to get my children to eat, cute crafts, & trendy outfits BUT I never actually get around to recreating these pins. I am one of those mamas that could be stranded in my minivan for a month and still survive thanks to the 10 packs of gummies, random stale goldfish/Cheetos/Oreos, and half empty bottles of juice laying around in my backseat. My house is always in a state of organized chaos.

So diary…here is how I discovered I am a Hot Mess Mom:

1. I am pretty much ALWAYS late and NO I didn’t get to stop at Starbucks.

2. My toddler likes to wipe her nose on my t-shirt and I usually do not notice.

3. I go to microwave my morning coffee and discover yesterday’s coffee is still in the microwave.

4. Coffee is not so much as a morning beverage, but now a way of life that composes 2/3 of my meals.

5. The pile of bills in the bill box is starting to win the war over the pile of laundry sitting on my living room floor.

6. My dust bunnies in my home have colonized to the point of being able to threaten an actual mutiny.

7. It is not even naptime yet and I contemplate how to place wine in my day somewhere.

8. I wore yoga pants and an old t-shirt ensemble yesterday that were so comfortable I slept in it. I’m still wearing it today.

9. Forget to brush my teeth, forget to brush my hair…forget where my phone is and start searching for it while I AM TALKING ON MY PHONE.

10. I have spent $$$$$ on college education to find my days arguing with toddlers who always win.

11. I have skipped showers and bathed with baby wipes.

12. I have started swearing in kid-friendly language so much so that when I stub my toys on my kids’ Paw Patrol figures I scream “Cheese and crackers” or “sugar doodle” instead of the S*** or F bomb standard.

13. My kids have played in the water hose and I have counted that as their baths.

14. I find my days being filled with “what is that?!”, “what the hell?!” and “oh no!!”

15. Yes, that was me walking around with my kids’ food on my shirt and completely unaware my nursing bra was undone.

16. I have gone to stroller strides with my pants inside out…heck I have gone to stroller strides with my kid’s pants inside out

17. Poop or chocolate? Toothpaste or spit up? Peanut butter or puke? I can’t tell anymore

18. My kids have gone to sleep in their day clothes

19. I recently made a note to clean out my fridge and upon starting this daunting task I need a HAZMAT suit and an advance biology degree to understand what on earth is happening in my refrigerator.

In conclusion, I declare and embrace the “hot mess mom” title. I love to soak up all the moments with my children and as I write this entry it makes me laugh at all these adventures I have had as a mother to my girls (fun and not so fun). Perfection is an illusion and having my life completely organized/together all the time is overrated and impossible. Being a HMM provides me with the outlook to let the little things go and drink up those special moments that make my unwashed face tear stained with joy. While I am the perfect person to be my daughters’ mama, I love being reminded that I am not the only mother in the world that isn’t perfect and we should embrace that concept. Cheers to you mamas with your cocktails, mocktails, coffee, or whatever makes you have a happy dance!

Mama needs coffee!
Mama needs Wine!
Girl Mom!
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